Risk Assessment Aggravation

Had a very joyful morning and afternoon sorting out university filming risk assessments. For anyone who doesn't know, university is about preparing you for the big 'ol nasty world. And a common thing that you will have to deal with at some point in your life is health and safety protocol. Many of you have probably attended some kind of meeting or something similar where you have listened to a lecture about the importance of health and safety. The unlucky other, myself included, play a very active part in observing and pre-empting risks. Being a TV student I have a lot of risks to take into consideration like cables, weather and electricity. But today I had a brush with one of the worlds most anal safety checkers.

Film we need to do for Cafe Studios requires us to book out a camera, booking out a camera requires a university risk assessment. A document that is around 7 pages long and needs to be supplemented with other written documents like a script and a call sheet. Film we are doing needs a car. Usually this would mean some awkward safety implications, however our car will not be moving and will permanently remain stationary; remember those last three words.

Now, quite often, my assessments get declined for a multitude of reasons, usually I am missing a document or forgot to fill in one blank etc. The first time it gets rejected is on Monday, I think 'no biggie,' I'll just prove I considered a few more risks regarding the car. So I write this little snippet to provide some piece of mind when it came to the issue of a stable car:

Note the expression 'Permanently remain stationary'

My assessment was later rejected multiple times for the most minute of details, on one occasion the issue was essentially 'You have not included the Bournemouth University emblem on your call sheet' Good grief, society itself might as well just crumble.

I am getting a little bit ticked off now, it's Thursday and it still hasn't been approved for whatever reason. So I compiled every little possible thing I could ever need. I've quadruple checked the paperwork, re-typed everything, I have even stitched their poxy emblem on my chest underneath my right nipple. Everything is perfect, I send it off and a few minutes later I get this... THING in response.

Oh yes. Yes I can... If you just read the part where I clearly mentioned the car would PERMANENTLY REMAIN STATIONARY! Which, by the way, I sent you 3 days ago? What have you been doing while not reading my risk assessment, eating bricks? Because I was going to put those bricks behind the car wheels to keep the damn thing stationary. But if you were too stupid to read what I have been saying for half a week, while nit-picking every other part of the document, it doesn't give me the impression that you have been very thorough or professional at all.

In retrospect, perhaps I am being a little bit harsh, but the above quite accurately captured how I felt at the time. Had to vent this out somehow. Went into town with Jamie to buy myself a cardigan I was so cross. It is very nice though.