With great effort we cracked open our small tin of feature wall paint and slapped on two layers. Rebecca went 1mph applying paint across the edges of the walls, striving to never touch the pristine white walls while I pick up the fuzziest roller we had and slapped it all across the plaster. The results are already excellent:
Paired with the yellow curtains there will be a real mallard look to the room which will make me silently smirk. We still need to gloss the window border and skirting boards - that's Rebecca's jurisdiction. I got to put up not one, not two, but several shelves. There'll be cussing for sure.
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